Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Here we go again…

Except this time I have a LOT more to lose.  Oy.  0lbs down, 55 pounds to go.  On day 2 of hcg diet.  It’s not as scary or painful as I thought it would be to do the injections.  Today is the last “loading” day, then tomorrow starts the actual low-calorie bit. 

Oh please, please, please let this be it.  Let this be the last time I have to lose weight.  I lost 45 pounds in 2009, then gained it back, and thensome.  Sad smile  

I’ve learned that the only thing I can be sure if is my resolve, right NOW.  I have no idea how I’ll feel in 6 months, or a year.  I’m terrified that for some bizarre reason, I’ll stop caring again.  And gain it all back.  Again.  It’s very easy for me to say right now that when I finally lose all this weight, I’ll appreciate it and never, ever gain it back.  Well, then, why have I already done that?!  Hmm?!  Ugh.

So, I’ll be doing the 23-day hcg diet (although I have 27 injections-worth, so I may just go 27 days), and then six weeks after that, I’ll do another round, if I can stand it.  Once I get down low enough, I think I’ll do weight watchers again.  I don’t know.  I guess I’ll worry about that when I get to it.

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